Tired of saying goodbye

Well,
Just when you think things are going more smoothly life throws you a curve ball and we lose another really great lady. Teresa Oller passed today and left behind a family who can't help but miss the heck out of her. We all will not just because she was an amazing human but because she was the only woman I knew who could keep Boots in line.
She would show up at Betty's and talk a blue streak about anything and everything. Darn plucky in Oller country. She was amazing to my Mom ... helping teach her how to set up her plate so she could eat without her eyesight. Mom never forgot that act of kindness nor did I.
She does leave an amazing legacy. Kris is this amazing young woman who shaved her head when her Mom lost her hair. She is as smart and eclectic as her Mom and can talk about anything. She, like her Mom, gives people the idea that she does not need to be taken care of...but under that crunchy exterior is a marshmallow heart. Kris cares deeply and is frightfully smart... heck the whole family is. Andrew hardly spoke but when he did it was something worth listening to. Betty described him as able to do anything...fix anything...
Boots, her hubby is one of my favorite Ollers and my absolutely favorite pessamist. I do not know how to tell them how to get through the grief except to hope that all of us call them frequently for no reason other than to listen and grieve with them. The losses of Mom and Betty did make this Rickard family come together in ways I never thought we would. So, If you read this give one a call.

Precious People

This has been a good time for me to reflect a bit. I think that we are so busy making a living that we miss a bit of life. Tiffany and Robert (my Neice and Nephew and great Nephew...JM) drove all the way to Nebraska to see us this winter. OK, Robert thought he would get to see a farm but he was happy with a frozen lake and a Cabellas. That was pretty special. I miss having family close enough to stop by for dinner or just to chill. I love friends too but family is really the ace. I have done a much better job with connecting with family...so has Lavonne. But for now my goal is to make sure Archer, Jesus Marcos, Tiff, Robert, Kelly, Cooper and Grant have an Aunt at least as memorable as those I had. Heck, I cannot top Aunt Betty, Gee Gee or Aunt Grace...but I can be memorable...and a bit crazy. So, here is to my year of refining my crazy aunt skills. I can't wait to see where this take me. If you have any crazy Aunt ideas...send them on to me.

Pacific Ocean Thoughts

I was sitting on an airplane somewhere over the middle of the Pacific Ocean and I began to cry. Now this is not a good thing on a planeload of happy people heading over to Hawaii fueled up with drinks and tropical print shirts that no one really wears outside the islands.
It is odd not to have your Mom, who loves you unconditionally...or Aunt Betty, who loves everyone. They left a bit of a hole by their passing
What I realized is that I finally understood how big a change this is. I know, it is partly because I am older and change is not my favorite thing to do. I suspect I cried as an infant when they changed my diapers...not because that was so bad a change...just different. I am good at this resisting change thing.
So, over the ocean it hits me that my generation is now the glue that holds the Rickards, Cde Bacas, Ollers etc together. I know we will rise to the task but Mom and Betty did it so effortlessly. The crazy part is that I really believe Betty and Mom may be watching this whole cry thing and giggling that I have missed the point. Life is change and some changes are pretty uncomfortable...but they do force us to grow. This loss stuff is the fertilizer part of growth...I think I am ready now for some good gentle rain, who knows, I may join the crazy group by putting on a tropical shirt and downing one of those awful tropical drinks and seeing what the next bend in the road brings.

Christmas in Los Alamos

We braved the friendly skies and are in Los Alamos for the holidays. The snow started falling gently on Tuesday and then began to rain down in white sheets by the middle of the day. We got the drive cleared by 3PM or so and headed out to put some food in Dad's interesting fridge. He had frozen french bread pizza singles, tamalies, some ancient ice cream and a few brontosaraus steaks from a hunt in the early prehistoric years. We bought pork chops, roasts, beans, canned goods, veggies, juice and a host of cheezes. It was a trip to the store that was a lifesaver.
Today, Ded is down in White Rock and Lavonne and I have celebrated a great Christmas morning by listening to Choir music, eating beans we made yesterday (which should provide hours of entertainment later), and counting our blessings.
We will head down to Phylis's house in an hour or so for dinner and some good visiting, and a good game of cards.
I wish Sharon, Judy,Mark and the kids were here along with Dot and a large crew to make the cards more interesting and share the feast. Merry Christmas!

Aunt Betty

I miss my Mom like crazy but I always had Aunt Betty even after Mom passed. Now Betty has passed too and there seems to be a huge hole in the world. I know it will be filled with memories and family but when you lose someone like Betsy it is ceartinly a big loss. She was 88 years old and still sharp and funny. She was one of the most amazing learners, interested in everything. She cooked like Martha Stewart and looked like a million every morning. I called her and had a great long chat at least once a week. Now I will talk to her and Mom each morning and each evening in my dreams.
Everyone needs an Aunt Betty in their lives. Someone who by their faith and their sheer determination is solid as a rock. You always knew what to expect from her. Gracious and graceful she was the embodiment of dedicated Mom. She loved her children with a passion that defies description. I heard proud stories about each one and never ever heard her utter a word of dissapointment about any of them. She told funny stores about them but always with a sense of ..."aren't my kids funny and creative"?
My favorite recent story was when one of Tiffany's friends was saying she was giving Tiffany some advice, harshly. Tiff's friend said "I ripped her a new one". Betty asked me what that meant. I told her it meant that she chewed her out or verbally tore into her. At Breakfast Betty was listening to a story about some conflict between two folks and I asked her what on of the conflictees did. She raised her fist and said in a louder tone. "ripped her a new one". I laughed so hard I was incontinent. Lavonne still gets the church giggles when I mention any part of the story. Betty, looked at me after the laughter and said sternly..."that isn't anything dirty is it"? I told her no...but it was so out of character it made us laugh. I never heard her swear...ever.
So, here is to a gentle lady who had so many wonderful layers and never forgot how to have fun...who loved her kids...was loyal to her family and friends and taught us all how to live with more grace.

Thanksgiving

Just back from a week in Steamboat Rock. We ate more than was sane and played cards until the wee hours. I stink at that card game but the snacks are great. We had a little snow. They predicted a half inch and we got 5 or 6. We did have fun but the cold weather was a wake up call for me to get out the warmner clothes. The photo is the view from the cabin deck.
A wonderful pair of students sent me a link through their blog to a site called Free Rice. You all should check it out.

New Mexico

Folks, we are just back from a trip to NM to see Dad and for me to teach a workshop at Albuquerque (UNM). Lavonne and her broken hoof were troopers. We drive and photographed trees and scenes and ate lots of chile. I will post more photos this weekend.
Wish you all could have been with us.