Pacific Ocean Thoughts

I was sitting on an airplane somewhere over the middle of the Pacific Ocean and I began to cry. Now this is not a good thing on a planeload of happy people heading over to Hawaii fueled up with drinks and tropical print shirts that no one really wears outside the islands.
It is odd not to have your Mom, who loves you unconditionally...or Aunt Betty, who loves everyone. They left a bit of a hole by their passing
What I realized is that I finally understood how big a change this is. I know, it is partly because I am older and change is not my favorite thing to do. I suspect I cried as an infant when they changed my diapers...not because that was so bad a change...just different. I am good at this resisting change thing.
So, over the ocean it hits me that my generation is now the glue that holds the Rickards, Cde Bacas, Ollers etc together. I know we will rise to the task but Mom and Betty did it so effortlessly. The crazy part is that I really believe Betty and Mom may be watching this whole cry thing and giggling that I have missed the point. Life is change and some changes are pretty uncomfortable...but they do force us to grow. This loss stuff is the fertilizer part of growth...I think I am ready now for some good gentle rain, who knows, I may join the crazy group by putting on a tropical shirt and downing one of those awful tropical drinks and seeing what the next bend in the road brings.